ASPERGER'S SYNDROME – Neurological condition, commonly suffered by celebrities and badly behaved children. The recent ‘Asperger's Olympics' held at Crieff Sports Complex represented fat-headedness unrivalled since the same facility's World Cup for Clinically Obese Children, or, in the terminology of the event's organisers, ‘Chubbies'. While the latter event was a freak show in which participants wandered off the field of play, or simply stopped and sat down on the pitch, mid-game to munch on a bun, the ‘Asperger's Olympics' were marred by scenes of near anarchy. Visitors were confronted by wild eyed children brandishing or wearing as hats traffic cones around which they were meant to dribble footballs, compulsively lashing out at passers-by and scrawling their names over every available surface. Elderly members of the centre's aerobics class were set upon and, had it not been for the bravery of attendants, one would have been forced into the basement incinerator.

 

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