CULLEN, PETER (1966 - ) Disgraced teacher, Plagiarist. Aberfoyle based English teacher, Cullen first came to public notice after embarking upon an inappropriate relationship with one of his female students. Arguing that their friendship was based on a shared interest in music and cinema, he refused to admit to any wrong-doing. “A society that can't accept the possibility of platonic friendship,” he insisted, “has serious problems.” Predictably, the directors of Aberfoyle High School sided with society and Cullen was suspended. I have a certain sympathy for him. British people have become enslaved to the lure of gossip. My own friendship with my niece Muriel has provoked similar sordid innuendo. “She's not your date, Hamilton!” responded Spencer when I announced my intention of asking her to accompany me to Billy Ure's wedding. Later we were subjected to various items of offensive graffiti. While I regard such sallies with indifference, Muriel's confidence has been undermined. She's recently taken to loitering in the cemetery where she tries to distance herself from me by smoking and entertaining her ghoulish new friends with Hamilton Coe impressions. I inadvertently stumbled upon one of these performances while studying the gravestones of Covenanters for which the churchyard is, rightly, renowned. If anyone was guilty of ‘spying' on that occasion, incidentally, it was Shaun Magennis who had no business clambering over the Farquharson Memorial in the first place.

Shortly after his dismissal, Cullen was offered a contract with a London publisher on the strength of the opening chapter of his first book, a children's story based on the adventures of a young, female wizard and her mentor, Timothy Coffy, Master of Grimoires at the Wizard Academy. Cullen's success was widely featured in local papers. He was photographed celebrating in a wizard's hat, brandishing a wand. Unfortunately, the offer was subsequently withdrawn when a reader employed by the publisher noted eighty seven separate incidents drawn directly from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series.

 

Home

Glossary

Hamilton Live

Casebook

 

Contact