HANSEN, ALAN. Football Analyst, Nudist. Over the past decade Hansen has established a New Year tradition of running naked through the centre of Alloa followed by a Goodwill truck which accepts unwanted Christmas jumpers. These, unfortunately, aren't used to clothe Alan, but distributed to local indigents. Hansen's misguided, if public spirited, gesture has, predictably, encouraged exhibitionists elsewhere. Last year, Drumfeld's Hogmanay celebrations were completely ruined when members of the local amateur football team who pledged to run naked from Drumfeld to Inverbeg, unfortunately contriving to get lost in a sudden blizzard en route.

Alan Hansen, fully clothed

 

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