INGLIS, PHILIP (1963 - ) Charlatan. Inglis initially established himself in the Drumfeld Community Centre as a Reiki Master. When it became apparent that there was no demand for this dubious skill which involves the thrashing of supplicants with a rattan cane, he reinvented himself overnight, offering free introductory re-birthing sessions. For weeks he was allowed to incite panic attacks and hyperventilation in his subjects by forcing them to return to foetal breathing techniques. Immediately after sessions with Inglis, several clients were traumatised by flashbacks to childhood, not always their own. Deborah Mallon found herself being pursued around a strange house by a bull-faced man wearing trousers tied under the knees with twine; Malcolm Corbett imagined himself to be trapped beneath the roots of a huge tree where he'd been confined by witches. Not even the presence of his family could reassure him that he was, in fact, in the safety of his room, surrounding by his possessions. Inglis attempted to reverse these unwanted developments by forcing his unhappy clients to perform even deeper breathing exercises. When this merely exacerbated matters, he resorted to use of his cane.

Philip Inglis, a posturing nincompoop

 

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