SAUNDERS, GAYLE (1960 - ) My housekeeper. Employed by Christine immediately after our mother's death, Gayle proved a staunch ally against the social service numbskulls whose ostensible purpose of attending to my father was neglected in favour of two hour coffee breaks and telephone misuse.

Shortly after Spencer's inglorious return to Drumfeld, Gayle threatened to resign on account of disgusting emissions with which she claimed my brother had clogged the shower. "We don't even need a housekeeper," snapped Spencer in response, attributing the cause of Gayle's complaint to excessive shower gel use on my part. Laboratory analysis (conducted at some expense) proved otherwise.

 

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