A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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URE, GORDON (1945 - 1977) The case I refer to as Mystery of the Man Who Was Not was the first in which Billy Ure, who had only recently returned to Drumfeld to live with his grandparents, assisted me. Various factors connected with the mystery continue to perplex me. Gordon Ure , Billy's father at whose cremation the case actually reached its denouement, remains an enigma. I only met Gordon twice before he died. Even at that age, I was able to form vivid impressions of individuals from the briefest acquaintance: Gordon's character, however, remained indistinct. Looking at photographs in my archive, his face is a blur as if he were more liquid than solid. “Your father,” I said to Billy at the time, “is full of tears.” While this observation provoked one of Billy's sulks, it seems, with hindsight, to have been particularly apt. Billy, incidentally, has assumed the same peripheral role as his father: will some people impact upon life whether as instigators or in a supportive role, others are content to hover, as ineffectual as the ghosts with whom Billy, in his Dark Maestro role, has such an affinity.
URE, WILLIAM (1968 - ) Author, Docent - Nearly a year has now passed since Billy's marriage to Karen Balsillie. Shortly before the wedding, having already being relegated from the role of best man to that of an usher, I received an extraordinary letter, ostensibly from Billy, informing me that I was no longer welcome in any capacity. While no reason was given, I could only assume that the letter was a response to one I sent Billy a week earlier listing sixty seven reasons why his marriage represented a catastrophic error of judgement and imploring him to think again. Although signed with Billy's unmistakably hesitant signature, the reply was typed in a lavender coloured font that would only be used by woman (and, without wishing to stoop to abuse, one of limited intelligence.) Naturally, after nearly thirty years of friendship, I felt entitled to an explanation. Despite my misgivings, after all, I had accepted Billy's decision, even reassuring him as to my willingness to serve as best man. My speech, touching upon the rare cases in which Billy conducted himself with anything approaching courage, had already been written before I was informed that Ms Balsillie's cousin Calum Livingstone, the merest of acquaintances to Billy, would fulfil that particular role. Any reasonable person, apprised of this treatment, would have concluded that I was the wounded party. It would have been easy, and probably justifiable, to with-hold my services entirely, but, despite everything, I was fully committed to my role as usher. Billy, unfortunately, refused to discuss the matter: a tendency to scurry from confrontation, evident since boyhood, was never so pronounced than in the week immediately preceding his wedding. Frustrated in my earnest attempts to negotiate a reconciliation, I was eventually compelled to attend in disguise.
Watching Billy as he danced self-consciously for Karen's sniggering relatives, I was briefly overwhelmed by an emotion I only later identified as anger. Anyone who know me will confirm that, regardless of provocations, my disposition remains essentially sunny. With hindsight, I can only attribute this momentary aberration to the realisation that everything I'd offered Billy, including a seat on the board of the Hamilton Coe Foundation, had been rejected in favour of a mother substitute. My wrath turned to concern when Cameron, Ms Balsillie's son by her first failed marriage, wriggled from the restraints of his grandmother, ran onto the dancefloor and kicked Billy's shin. In my rush to assist Billy, unfortunately, I was recognised and, at his wife's insistence, escorted from the building.
URQUHART, SHARON (1952 - ) Cheat - Ms Urquhurt successfully competed in three Glamorous Granny contests before being exposed as an imposter. The Daily Record, chief sponsors of one of the tournaments she won, was particularly outraged by the revelation that she was neither a grandmother nor, according to photographs submitted by an embittered former boyfriend, particularly glamorous. The newspaper retaliated against her deception by publishing the photographs in which Ms Urquhurt, drunk and apparently helpless, stared blankly into the camera as it mercilessly recorded her hideous near-nudity. In the accompanying article, her former boyfriend, Brian Oliver, claimed to have been as appalled by her imposture as a grandmother as he had been by her dalliance with his seventeen year old nephew. "It just wasn't right," he explained. "I couldn't sleep for thinking about all of the genuine Glamorous Grannies being deprived out of their rightful prize." This concern wasn't apparent in other photographs published by the Record in which Oliver loomed in the background, his pie-face glowing with reflected glory as Ms Urquhurt was crowned Saga-Mate 2001.
In my experience, rogues seeking relationships will invariably discover their equivalents. Mutual destruction is inevitable, but not before their association, however brief, wreaks havoc in the lives of those around them.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z