WHO, DOCTOR – Time Traveller. By the 1970's, the era of my own childhood, the B.B.C. had been hi-jacked by self-proclaimed ‘freaks' and perverts who amused themselves by inserting subliminal messages into programmes. While the intention was mischievous rather than revolutionary, the overall effect was catastrophic. A generation of children's minds were warped by incitements to carnage and masturbation. The perpetrators, in my opinion, should be held responsible for planting seeds that would blossom in the form of mental illness, sexual transgression and murder. In one of the biggest cover ups in history, the B.B.C. has subsequently destroyed thousands of hours of programmes proven to contain hidden messages. The worst offender was possibly Dr Who, an unsavoury individual who travelled through time. “Hello, I'm the Doctor!” he'd beam on arriving in some strange galaxy, “Have a jelly baby!” Invariably, the Doctor's strained eccentricity would cause offence. Over a succession of episodes he would be menaced and horribly mistreated by actors whose papier-mache heads were ringed by auras the colour of suicide. A study of the future career of Dr Who bit players, incidentally, would yield horrifying results. The Doctor himself was portrayed by a succession of ham actors plucked from the bordellos of Soho all of whom, with the exception of Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker returned to the obscure netherworld from to whence they came. Baker, who, admittedly, possesses a certain horrible charisma, is revered by inadequates who insist on the programme's cultural significance. This ridiculous claim indicates a brainwashing campaign that might rival anything perpetrated in Moscow over the period of the show's peak. Incredibly, seven of Christine's depressives regularly attend Dr Who conventions and three claim to have had sexual relations with Tom Baker. An updated version of the series has tragically been allowed to demoralise a new generation. See also BAIRD, JOHN LOGIE

 

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