MALCOLM, PAMELA – (1970 - ) In 1980, the Drumfeld Examiner commemorated the successfully recovery of Constance Lewis's cat (a minor case that doesn't even feature in the archive) by printing a photograph of the Hamilton Coe Detective Agency. My own copy of the article was destroyed by Spencer in the course of his 2005 Christmas rampage, but by referring to my enhanced memory skills, I can recall every significant detail. I'm at the picture's centre, naturally, surrounded by Billy Ure, Spencer and my cousins Richard and Pamela Malcolm. One might ask exactly why Richard and Spencer, neither of whom had assisted in the case, were present in the picture. An excellent question. Aunt Isobel, an habitual meddler in matters outwith her personal concern, insisted that they be included. In the ensuing stand-off, I was prepared to send the photographer away, but eventually negotiated a compromise that the accompanying story refer to them as Hamilton Coe admirers rather than active investigators. With hindsight, I should have stuck to my guns. I probably would have done if not for the fact that Spencer was already in the throes of his first existential crisis: earlier that summer, Pamela and I, in the course of an unrelated investigation, had established the fact of his adoption. This might account for the forlorn expression he wore in the photograph, completely at odds with the general sense of jubilation prompted by the safe return of Mrs Lewis's cat.

Unlike her brother, Pamela was an enthusiastic investigator. A more natural and courageous detective than Billy, who feared and resented her, she played an integral role in several of my most challenging early investigations. Without Pamela's cool head, I might never have emerged unscathed from the Thompson farmhouse while she was on hand to rescue me from the incoming tide after the sham Christians of the Summer Crusaders buried me up to my neck on Kiloran Bay. She also intervened on various occasions when I was threatened by louts and delinquents hell-bent on countering the powers of intuition and logic with violence. Anyone eager to pummel Hamilton during the months of summer or Christmas, invariably had Pamela to contend with. At any other time, I'm afraid, Billy Ure was the only deterrent and his instinctive response to encroaching menace was to chew his lips into a jelly or crawl under the nearest hedge.

In 1984, however, Pamela's dedication to investigations diminished as she became enthralled by the malign influence of Valerie Cuthbert. That summer, Pamela arrived in Drumfeld with her new friend en tow. Valerie immediately made herself objectionable, making provocative observations and turning my shed into a smoking haven. When I reported this latter offence to my parents, she and Pamela responded by refusing to speak to me and, incredibly, smoking openly. As both were under sixteen, this behaviour wasn't only offensively precocious, but against the law. With hindsight, the official complaint I lodged at the Drumfeld Police Station (still in operation in these days) might have been an over-reaction. Certainly, the ticking off the girls received from P.C. Quigley did little to improve relations between us. For the remainder of the holiday I was left to conduct investigations with only Billy to assist me, while Pamel and Valerie consorted with Spencer and Richard. To add insult to injury, the four connived in sending me on a wild goose chase with a series of cryptic messages and archaic diagrams chalked on walls around Drumfeld. After weeks of false clues that led me into nettle patches and fields inhabited by vicious geese, the mystery was resolved by the discovery of a parchment on which was written 'Hamilton Coe is a speccy, fat snitch' hidden inside a hollow tree.

Five years ago, Pamela's work in television took her to California where she has remained. Returning to Drumfeld to assist in arrangements for my mother's funeral, a brief reconciliation came to a sudden conclusion when I inadvertenly received e-mail attachments detailing a proposed television series about a character called 'Harrison Poe'.

Pamela's Manuscript Chapter One

Pamela's Manuscript Chapter Two

Pamela's Manuscript Chapter Four

 

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