The First Noel

Psychic investigator Hamilton Coe surrounded by allies and adversaries. Featured characters include Annabella Lwin, Mark E Smith, Donna Tartt, Dashiell Hammett, Robocop, Patricia Highsmith, Cornell Woolrich, Robert Morley, Ming the Merciless, Jean Seberg, Del The Automator

Dateline Drumfeld – Friday

Wednesday – My first Christmas cards arrived this morning. No advanced graphology skills were necessary in identifying Hazel Eadie’s savagely embedded scrawl. Not having heard from Hazel since September, I’d hoped that she might have embarked upon some fresh fixation. Apparently not. Her annual newsletter contains its usual trite fantasies about our life together. Does Hazel seriously imagine that normal couples use their Christmas newsletters to subject acquaintances to such nauseating innuendo? At least the reference is veiled. Last year’s was so hideously explicit that I took the precaution of passing a copy to our community police officer.

Later I went into Stirling to collect my own Christmas cards. Last year I made the mistake of allowing Gordon Gilfeather, one of Christine’s clients to design my card. The image of a young Hamilton Coe, partially concealed from behind a couch, peering at an unsuspecting Santa Claus through a magnifying glass was competently executed, but misjudged in almost every respect. Apart from begging the question why I would require a magnifying glass to observe someone from a distance of three feet, Gordon’s depiction made me look sneaky and furtive. Nobody who knows me would deny my ability to take a joke but an advanced sense of humour is accompanied by an instinctive sense of what is appropriate. When I confronted Gordon he completely failed to convey why he thought his caricature was funny. Nor could he adequately explain why Santa Claus was included despite my explicit instruction that the American icon of greed had no place in a Hamilton Coe Christmas. “But that’s why you’re investigating him,” he stammered, a feeble improvisation that failed to convince me that he deserved anything more than half the originally negotiated fee.

This year’s card features a passable likeness of Yours Truly surrounded by characters appropriate to a Christmas narrative – Noddy Holder, for example, makes an appearance, as does Alastair Sim’s Scrooge. I thought it pleasing, though when I showed it to Christine, she queried the incorporation of a Ouija Board. I’d assumed it was some kind of platter.

Comments

  1. RichardSes

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Plumpness is whole of the most serious problems of the modern world. It has already reached epidemic proportions in some countries. In Russia, upon 47% of men and 52% of women busy with overweight. Excessive consequence is not at best a defect in appearance. It can cause many physiological or spiritual disorders. To bag rid of body paunchiness, you outset requirement to metamorphose your eating habits.

    diet in return obesity
    What is the liable to be of grossness
    Obesity is due to the fait accompli that the amount of rations entering the heart of a up to the minute person significantly exceeds the amount needed for energy production. As a result, the pristine match is transformed into fat. The quality of the food you put also matters. If the slim is based on indubitably digestible carbohydrates, they force certainly be deposited in the form of ugly folds.

    Superfluity http://readinglist-m.blogspot.com/2012/07/abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter-review.html weight should not be bewitched totally as a visual disadvantage. It is a hazard intermediary as the situation of multifarious diseases. The more adipose interweaving grows, the stronger its hurtful punch on the body.

    Attention: patients with overweight are three times more undoubtedly to suffer from diabetes, twice as favourite to suffer from pathologies of the liver and the cardiovascular routine, compared with people with common weight.

    Obesity is a systemic http://profelectro.by/index.php?subaction=userinfo&user=obykofy virus, it can agitate the work of all internal organs.

    Total the diseases that encourage http://wh.ac.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=81756&do=profile surplus weight:

    hypertension;
    Alzheimer’s disease;
    strokes;
    arthritis;
    man’s helplessness;
    phlebeurysm;
    angina;
    respiratory pathology;
    depression;
    saw wood apnea (unforeseen cessation of breathing during sleep);
    heartlessness begin;
    gallbladder pathology;
    osteoarthritis;
    diseases of the digestive treatise;
    atherosclerosis;
    menstrual irregularities.
    It has been scientifically proven that plumpness increases the probability of developing cancer of the breast and thyroid glands, colon, gallbladder, and kidneys. The relationship between surplus weight and spiteful neoplasms of the esophagus, as accurately as the endometrium, is most audibly traced. On average, body bulky reduces a person’s soul expectancy about 12-15 years.

    The situation is aggravated alongside the items that paunchy people comprise a metabolic breach of the peace – this slows down the change of losing weight. But the condition is reversible. Even the heaviest value can be “wanton”. To do this, you beginning necessity to change the diet. The ranking misapprehension tons people make is that they strive to perfectly pass by food. As a follow-up, fasting periods are replaced close breakdowns. Weight returns in even greater volumes, haleness problems arise. The set of a diet on an pudgy личность should be handled on a skilled nutritionist.

  2. RichardSes

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Obesity is whole of the most serious problems of the novel world. It has already reached pestilence proportions in some countries. In Russia, about 47% of men and 52% of women actual with overweight. Overflow avoirdupois is not barely a escape in appearance. It can cause myriad physiological or subliminal disorders. To get rid of centre pinguid, you first place requirement to metamorphose your eating habits.

    diet in the direction of paunchiness
    What is the peril of rotundity
    Bulk is due to the details that the amount of food entering the heart of a modern person significantly exceeds the amount needed in search energy production. As a consequence, the unused match is transformed into fat. The attribute of the foodstuffs you break bread also matters. If the slim is based on easily digestible carbohydrates, they inclination certainly be deposited in the form of horrible-looking folds.

    Excess http://www.wvodesigns.com/wiki/index.php?title=Podstawy wlasciwego karmienia dla utraty wagi value should not be taken plainly as a visual disadvantage. It is a hazard influence for the situation of multifarious diseases. The more adipose chain grows, the stronger its hurtful effectiveness on the body.

    Attention: patients with overweight are three times more undoubtedly to suffer from diabetes, twice as apposite to suffer from pathologies of the liver and the cardiovascular way, compared with people with normal weight.

    Obesity is a systemic http://yinyue7.com/space-uid-730489.html disease, it can agitate the masterpiece of all internal organs.

    All of a add up to the diseases that gall http://theisol.blogspot.com/2014/08/qowaid-fiqhiyah.html excess dialect heft:

    hypertension;
    Alzheimer’s disease;
    strokes;
    arthritis;
    male helplessness;
    phlebeurysm;
    angina;
    respiratory pathology;
    depression;
    beauty sleep apnea (abrupt cessation of breathing during sleep);
    pity seizure;
    gallbladder pathology;
    osteoarthritis;
    diseases of the digestive sermon;
    atherosclerosis;
    menstrual irregularities.
    It has been scientifically proven that obesity increases the strong of developing cancer of the knocker and thyroid glands, colon, gallbladder, and kidneys. The relationship between surplus burden and malignant neoplasms of the esophagus, as well as the endometrium, is most evidently traced. On typically, substance bulky reduces a person’s soul expectancy by 12-15 years.

    The picture is aggravated by the fact that stout people comprise a metabolic disorder – this slows down the method of losing weight. But the situation is reversible. Exact the heaviest value can be “lost”. To do this, you first need to change the diet. The pipeline blunder various people thrive is that they strive to from the word go turn thumbs down on food. As a follow-up, fasting periods are replaced close breakdowns. Majority returns in equable greater volumes, robustness problems arise. The selection of a diet on the side of an chubby личность should be handled around a skilled nutritionist.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *